So there are a few biology things to put out there, up front, for anyone that is interested in what happened but not real informed on the physical makeup of a pitchers shoulder. I emphasize pitcher because there are parts of this that are relevant to me being a throwing athlete.

The first piece to this is regardless of what anyone in the medical profession has ever told you about MRI’s, even Gadolinium MRI’s (which is an MRI where they inject a fluid into your shoulder to give the images much better contrast, hopefully giving the experts reading the images more information on the condition of the joint being examined) it’s as inexact a science as there is. MRI’s are a very nice way to get an idea of a potential problem, but at best they are very obscure and inexact.

The MRI’s I have had over the past 5 years were reported as “unchanged” all the way up to my arm actually being opened. That’s not to say “healthy” or “in great shape” but rather nothing had medically changed from a diagnosis standpoint on the MRI’s, in anyone’s mind, with the exception of Dr Morgan.

The MRI taken early this year, as he read it, showed the bicep as ‘striated’. Think of how a thick piece of rope is made. The hemp is small strings wound together to create a thick rope. The bicep tendon is very similar in makeup, and a ‘striated bicep’ means that the ‘hemp’ that is wound together to create the bicep, was unraveling. This I was told is a sign of latter stages of deterioration of the bicep and is not a common thing, even in throwing athletes. It’s generally seen in older people who do manual labor, carpenters and such, and people that tend to use their arms over their shoulder height quite often, as well as tennis players at times.

So Dr Morgan diagnosed a striated bicep tendon and there was disagreement as anyone familiar with the situation might remember, but most everyone involved was in some sort of agreement that beyond that there was no real change.

Everyone that is but Dr Altcheck. Dr Altcheck was brought in as an independent 3rd opinion after the initial disagreements and as per the collective bargaining agreement stipulates. In Dr Altchecks opinion there was agreement that there were significant issues with the bicep tendon, but beyond that there was an opinion that I had ‘significant’ damage to my rotator cuff, career ending damage to be exact. That led to the belief that while a bicep tenodesis at that time might cure the pain I was receiving, the larger issues were of such significance that short of a major rotator cuff repair I would never pitch again.

This led to a lot of discussion about the completely unexplored area of doing a bicep teno-desis in a Major League pitcher. The opinion was that it had never been done and therefore was not a realistic option. Unfortunately we came to find out that it had actually been done and the few it had been done on, some as far back as the late 1970s, some threw in the major leagues afterwards. The more recent example(s) were in players much younger than I am.

The age and mileage factor was the wild card piece to any discussion about surgery, and rightly so. We knew, even if the MRI read pristine, opening my shoulder would reveal at least some semblance of damage, given that an MRI would most likely show the bare minimum in the way of injury.

The physical aspects of this are somewhat relevant too. The bicep tendon runs up the middle of your arm and enters into the shoulder joint along a narrow shallow canal at the end of your humerus bone. It enters at the lower end of the ‘knob’ of the humerus, and when it does it then is under a small bony sheath to the point it exits at the top, and is attached to your shoulder at the labrum.

The second important part to this is the labrum. Think of the labrum as an oval. A thick rubbery ‘buffer’ that is between your humerus and your shoulder socket, and is there to act as a buffer between the bones and the joint. Also think in terms of a clock, with 12 at the top and 6 at the bottom. In 1995 I had a labral tear from 11 o’clock to 1 o’clock of my labrum that Dr Morgan repaired with what was then cutting edge technology, tools and procedures. Now the bicep tendon exits this small canal and attaches to the labrum in two places. It splits just before attaching and is anchored to the labrum in two locations.

SLAP lesion

This first picture is my labrum. This actually looks rather innocent until you realize this. That white wispy cotton looking material is my labrum and that solid bone thing to the right is my bone at the joint. The white wispy thing is supposed to be adhered to the bone and NOT all frayed and floating. Basically I had a torn labrum from about 10 o’clock to 3 o’clock. Far more significant tear than I had 13 years ago. Also if you peek behind into the background you can see my bicep tendon hanging out back there, all shiny and white and healthy. That’s the bicep tendon as it exited the small canal near the top of my shoulder, looking pretty sexy I might add.

The second photo is the repair in action. The labral tear is “debride” which in addition to likely being spelled wrong is when they shave away the peripheral tissue to clear it out and insure what’s left is strong enough to handle being re-attached. They also start the bone healing process by making it ‘bleed’, at which time the body reacts by starting the healing process even before it’s truly fixed.

The picture above is the labrum repaired. Anchored to the bone with 3 sutures of ridiculous strength. Also note the bicep tendon is now absent, it’s been removed.

Another major factor in the process was that by removing the bicep tendon you could argue that the labral repair becomes unnecessary because the bicep causes all of the pulling and tension on the labrum in the first place. With the bicep taken out of the equation that part of the pain puzzle is removed. I would argue that would not be the smart thing since having a torn labrum to this degree would provide ample opportunity for that tissue to get ‘caught’ or wedged in the joint, and I don’t think that would feel too good. I am guessing that if there was no repair they would remove the labral tissue altogether? Not sure but I wasn’t real interested in finding out.

These last two pictures are the evidence I honestly never felt I needed (and if you’re squeamish I’d recommend not scrolling down). I knew there were issues and I knew they were not all connected to my labrum. Not only was my bicep ‘rotting’ and ‘diseased’ (which you can see by looking at the ends of the muscle which are whiter, and thicker than the middle portion, but notice that split? Ya, that’s not supposed to be there. The bicep is, until it exits the canal, one long continuous muscle, at least in normal cases it is. Mine is not. Mine is actually split in two as you can see. That’s not good but that is a definitive set of reasons why I had the pain I had, the way I had it.

Ya that's just nasty.

Oh one more piece. In the picture below you can see an arthroscopic tool touching some tissue. That’s the undersurface of my rotator cuff. In layman’s terms the cuff is basically 4 ‘muscles’ that anchor your shoulder joint and keep it stabilized. They are rather small and fragile but they tend to be the lynch pin in that were they absent your humerus bone would bounce around inside your shoulder joint and you’d be done, fast. I did NOT have a rotator cuff tear in the traditional sense, not even close. I had what’s called a ‘partial thickness undersurface tear’ and if you look close enough you can see it. Partial thickness is one of the few medical terms I have heard that means what it says. It’s partially torn and not torn all the way through the muscle. I’ve been told that pretty much any pitcher on the planet that’s thrown even a few innings at this level can show this exact thing. The career ending piece is when you have a ‘full thickness tear’, that means your tear goes all the way through the cuff muscle and there is detachment from the bone. I had none of that. In fact other than that small partial tear my cuff was 100% intact.

Off of this I had to make some assumptions when all was said and done. That labral tear is not a gradual hard to figure out piece here. That’s a major injury and in thinking back there is only one set of dates and times that make even remote sense to any of this piece of the puzzle. Last year I came one out away from a no hitter in Oakland on June 7th. Six days later I was atrocious and struggling in getting battered by Colorado and 5 days after that I was throwing 83mph in my last start before going on the DL. I think I tore my labrum sometime between the last pitch of the Oakland game the last pitch of the Atlanta game. In all honesty I think it was prior to the Atlanta game since those symptoms spread out over that 11 day period match the symptoms exactly that I experience over 1 inning in 1995 in Colorado when I tore my labrum. No real pain while doing it, but a sudden immense drop in velocity. Only when I cooled down and stiffened up did pain enter into the picture.

What I am curious to know is just how they kept me alive and breathing the rest of the season. I can’t deny the cortisone had to have an immense impact since my first three rehab starts in Pawtucket that next month were the best I had thrown in 3 years. I also know that everyone involved knew that every day after coming back was on a path of diminishing returns since there was no real time to rest anything.

I think I got fooled into believing a little longer rest period over the winter would cure all ills for that simple reason. I managed to get by the entire year because I could ingest Vicodin when needed for pain, and in between starts when it wasn’t that bad and my ankle wasn’t screaming we could manage to get some work in. The magic John Ferrell worked is now even more amazing to me looking back.

What we didn’t say at seasons end was that long layoff I had before the post season was due to a second cortisone injection and complete rest. I had immense discomfort between starts and really could not manage to throw much, if at all, in between games. My biggest fear going into Anaheim was rust, I literally DID NOT touch a ball for I think 7 of those days and as someone who lives for that little touch and feel work between starts it killed me. I will add that it was the first time I ever committed myself to visualization and I may have even gone overboard working with Don Kalkstein, another guy who without him I’d have folded the tents far sooner than I did.

I do remember heading out for game 3 and until I was on the mound pitching I had no clue how it was going to turn out. I certainly wasn’t physically locked in, not even close, but I think the ‘brain work’ and the complete and unflinching confidence in ‘Tek back there allowed me to get settled and get after it a bit sooner than I otherwise might have. I remember a lot of loud outs early but I also remember feeling like I was improving as the game went on.

Conspiracy theorists and ‘experts’ can speculate on ulterior motives about so much of this but the fact of the matter is I was strong enough to pass a physical and my MRI didn’t show anything anyone had not seen before. I was sure the rest would fix it all, but it didn’t. The bicep issue is not a spur of the moment thing, that’s been a long time coming and I guess given my age and mileage shouldn’t end up being a shock. Dr Morgans analogy back in January when everyone was looking for answers to why and how I just suddenly had pain, before we knew of the labrum damage, was that sometimes it’s just ‘the straw that broke the camels back’ with regards to my bicep.

So there it is, in all it’s gory splendor.

What next? I really don’t know. I am moving the shoulder passively and nearing that stage of the process when some decisions are going to need to be made. I have access to the right people should I decide to take the long road and rehab back to pitch one last time. If I did that it would be no sooner than the 2nd half of next season and even then there is a lot to ponder if that’s the path I choose.

I’ve been busy, sort of, and apologize for neglecting the blog. I’ll post an update this week and talk about the teams first half as well.
As far as rehab goes, it’s coming along, albeit slowly. There is/was a lot more pain than I expected after this one and these first few weeks bring 1995 back in a big way. Basically the daily program right now is using a pulley 3x a day to raise my right arm in 3 different angles as well as beginning to address ankle mobility issues Coop believes are at the root of all the other problems. I was told that when I was under they did a mobility test on my right ankle and it’s literally ‘frozen’ in place.
I was planning on posting pics and a break down of the surgery for those that can stomach it.
Needless to say my bicep was ‘rotting’ in the canal and actually was split in two, with pictures to show of all.
So I’ll get post an update later this week.
Congratulations to JD on the MVP and to the AL for once again securing home field. Love to see that home field turn into Fenway again.

22 years ago January the Boston Red Sox picked a Freshman Pitcher from Yavapai Junior College (the best JC team in the nation btw!) in the 2nd round of the (Last!) January Draft.

3 World Series rings, 3k innings plus later, there’s a chance it’s all over.

UPDATE: As much as I dislike even acknowledging CHB, when his personal issues get in the way of reporting actual facts (which seems to happen much more often with me than others) I for some reason, right or wrong, feel a need to clarify and allow people to form their opinions on actual facts surrounding events he deems worthy enough to cover. If he can’t get his facts straight I figure I’ll be the good guy and help him out. It is after all, a matter of confirming things before you print your story right? Or does that step get skipped when in doing so part of your story disappears?

This quote

“Without telling his bosses ($8 million for not pitching doesn’t buy loyalty the way it used to), Schilling last Friday broke the news of his upcoming surgery on his paid radio gig (yes, the money goes to charity, but Schilling would not be talking to WEEI if the financial arrangement didn’t exist, and he knows there will be no tough questions)”

Is a lie. It’s not the first time he’s lied or misrepresented something, and knowing him it surely won’t be the last. The Red Sox did know that I was telling WEEI about the surgery and it was discussed with them the night before it happened. There was no desire on either side to call a press conference or something like it, but rather Theo and Tito would take questions off this morning announcement. Everyone knew, no one that needed to be informed was left out. It appears that CHB feels he’s in the “need to know” camp, when he in fact isn’t, and never has been.

The easy part is that this is just another example of why so many athletes feel disdain for certain members of the media, who, when facing declining readership and losing their relevance and impact, force themselves into their stories rather than sticking to just writing them.

And as for the paid radio gig, ya, WEEI donates and helps raise a ton of money for SHADE and for ALS, it’s why we do the show, to create awareness and raise money for charities. Poo on us. I do agree though, that not having someone as ethically pure and talented as him around means no one can ask a ‘tough question’, need to have someone of his HOF skill set for that to happen…..

To all of the well wishers, thank you. To all of the anti-Schilling people, thank you. Both sets of you were inspiration and motivation to be whatever it is I was for 19 some odd years on a major league mound.

I am set to have what could be extensive and potentially career ending shoulder surgery on Monday. The result of that surgery could be waking up and being told “It’s been a nice run big man, but you’re done” or “It wasn’t THAT bad, but it’s going to take serious time and effort to ever pitch again”.

The first one was what made this decision much easier because if I do not have surgery my career is over today, right now. That’s probably the case anyway, but I’d rather find out and know, than I would ponder. Even if the 2nd option happens it’s not clear cut. Coming back from this surgery at 31 would be an enormous challenge, at 41 more so. BUT, if that is an option at least I’ll be able to make that decision with all the cards on the table, and it will end on terms I choose. I won’t come back throwing 85 with so-so crap. If there is not an option to come back and be good, I won’t.

For anyone happy about that I’d recommend going to someone else’s blog. For Sox fans and fans that have supported me understand and please comprehend this much. I have not one single solitary thing in any way shape or form to be unhappy about. There is a world full of people suffering far more and far worse than my shoulder, not to mention I’ve been given and been blessed with far more than any one person deserves, far more.

To you fans, thank you, thank you, thank you. If it is all over, every single moment and memory I’ll take away from my career comes with your involvement and support. More athletes than you know recognize this and appreciate it. The 4 years I was allowed the honor of wearing this uniform I would hope you believe I did so with honor, integrity and respect, for the game but more importantly for my manager, coaches and teammates.

The game was here for well over a hundred years before I came along, and will be for that and more after I am gone, it owes Curt Schilling absolutely nothing, it gave me far more than I ever gave it.

If this was my last shot, and it is over, I wouldn’t change a thing (ok well that’s not totally true because I WOULD push rewind, go back to a few instances and shut my mouth, but hey we can’t all be perfect) that happened to me, with me or on any teams I played on. In 22 years I would say I had the honor of playing with some of the greatest of all time, and at most 3-4 really bad people, that’s not a bad thing.

Once this all clears up I’ll check back in to let everyone know that cares to know, how Monday went and what the prognosis and decisions are going forward, here.

If you haven’t seen it yet, the fabulous folks here at 38S have given our corporate site a total overhaul. While Munch might not gobble your mouse cursor anymore, there are some hidden things you need to search out that he’ll have fun with.

Here is the link! Have fun!

Two other things as well. Todd McFarlane sat down with Scott and Randy to do two interviews. The first was for Scotts show, Extra Life Radio, and can be found here.
The second one was for The Instance, Scott and Randy’s podcast covering The World of Warcraft. I have not heard that one yet but here is the link to the site to stay up to date.

Scotts a natural and Randy and he are a perfect match.

I’ve been listening to a few other podcasts that I’ll link to as well when I can. I have been in touch with the folks from 1UP and there may be a possible appearance at some point in the future. Their WoW podcast can be found at this link.

The 1UP folks are a little bit more adult in content, just letting you know ahead of time.

Threw 40 pitches off the mound yesterday. Wasn’t a great day and didn’t feel all that well but I am writing that off as just an off day or bad day, which I guess is all part of the rehab thing. Plan is to throw again Friday and gear up to face hitters at some point late next week if everything stays on schedule.

Gabby texting (not a boy btw), Gehrig watching the Celtics dancers and Dad explaining to him, well, dad things….

Manny hits 500, wow. 500 of anything means you’re good. Be it walks, hits, runs, anything, but 500 home runs, while it can be argued is not the milestone it once was, is still an incredible feat. The thing about Manny is this. Those 500 homers come with other even more impressive numbers that make his 1st ballot HOF selection a lock. His consistency year in and year out are astounding and in some cases unprecedented. I’ve said before, when you do something in a game that is more than a century old, for the first time, or only time, you’ve truly done something. Congrats to Manny and here’s to him hitting 600 here at Fenway.

Papi goes down and JD steps up. Nothing good comes from being in a hard cast. David having to be that way for a few weeks could be a season ruining event were we not as deep as we are, and were it not for guys like JD stepping up. No world championship team in any sport is ever built around 1 player and certainly not this one. Don’t mistake that for a devalue of what he means to this team, not at all. But this team and this game is always about depth and consistency. We lose 1 of the 2 best bats in the game and now we need others to step up. We don’t need one player to hit 15 homers and drive in 45 in his place. We need starters to pitch a bit better, the bullpen to pitch a bit better, someone in the lineup to do something a bit better, on each night. Each night will see one or two guys in the lineup that might not be, need to do one or two things right, or better, to makeup that difference. The main change, the bigger impact, is David’s lineup presence. No one on this team is as affected by David’s absence as Manny. The reason that’s perfect for us is that Manny NEVER allows things like that to change his approach. He’s done what he’s done, the way he’s done it, for that very reason. Manny hits and Manny approaches his AB’s in his way, every day.

Who isn’t blown away at the Jon Lester story? I know I am. I won’t belittle the off the field events, they are Hollywood in and of themselves. They are the reasons the world took notice a few weeks ago. Our advantage as his teammates was in already knowing what you all got to see. His character, his integrity, his Faith and his spirit are born of his parents and on display with him daily. From day one he was a kid that gets it. Total respect for the game, and his teammates, and a burning desire to be perfect. Having a ring side seat to the professional maturation part of this has been incredibly rewarding for me. I am by no means his mentor or anything like that, though I am comfortable in saying we have a fantastic relationship and I’d like to think I’ve helped him a bit. This has been all about Jon Lester and John Ferrel. He’s done so many things since coming to the big leagues, right and wrong, but at every turn there’s a hint of recognition on his part, that he’s learning, that his drive only increases with each bad day or game. I just think you can’t go through what he went through and not be able to put the game, your career goals and everything else into a nice little box and in better perspective, and benefit from it.

Manny vs. Youk, round 1. Trust me, this was a TOTAL non-issue and an event that happens far far more than you ever see or hear about. Many times, most times, events like this play out in clubhouses and no one outside the team ever knows about it. Bottom line is that 99 times out of 100 these are never personal, just like this one. The analogy I used was this. Most teams, most non-world championship caliber teams, have things like this crop up later in the year. For pretenders it happens in August, September, the “Dog Days”. It does so because there is an awareness or belief that games, ABs, innings are somehow more important now, and the intensity ratchets up. That’s not what happens here. Due to an organization wide commitment to winning the world series every year, and a fan base that will accept nothing less, we open the season, be it in Japan or Anaheim, and play 162 games with that approach, that intensity. Things happen when you have that level of intensity and our level of talent on a daily basis. It happens, punches might get thrown, and it ends, and we move on.

Ok, so I get some ridiculously good tickets for Game 2 of the NBA Finals last night. This was the 2nd chance to see the Celts up close. A few observations.

I had ZERO idea that the NBA game was that physical. Damn. The big boys are getting after it on every play.

Kevin Garnett, and not that this needs to be stated, but I’ll say it anyway, is as focused and locked in as any athlete in any sport I’ve been around. From pre-game shoot around to last seconds on the clock, this kid is legit. The intensity and reputation are there, wow. His eyes are on the floor, or the ball, all game. What an incredible pleasure it is to watch and be a fan of. I am blown away in that he came out of high school, something that can be a huge disadvantage, and has ALWAYS maintained who he was purported to be.

The first game I saw from these seats the Coach for Washington was basically taunting KG when he was at the line, saying a bunch of things, KG was ignoring him for the most part until he said something that must have been a bit too much, KG pauses, looks over and basically tells him to go piss up a rope.

Last night KG goes to the line, Lamar Odom (who I became a fan of last night) is saying “Hey KG why don’t you help on the ball down here?” Pointing to the paint, and I am guessing he’s referencing the fact that KG wasn’t down in the paint mixing it up. He says it again, loudly, KG doesn’t even acknowledge him, and sinks both. Impressive, total focus.

One thing I did learn was that in addition to not having one ounce of athletic ability, being white, and having no vertical, and only being able to dribble right handed, I couldn’t play in the NBA because about 43 times last night I heard things being said that would have made me swing at someone. These guys talk MAJOR trash on the floor, and the great part is that most of the times I’ve seen it the guy on the receiving end usually doesn’t respond much, if at all, and just plays the game, schooling the guy who feels like he needs to talk to make his game better.

Paul Pierce is friggin good. What a game. Who on the Lakers can defend him?

I always wondered about the bitching and moaning of NBA coaches and players with regards to officiating and last night I was literally on the floor to see and hear it first hand. Things I heard and saw.

1) KGs first quarter Technical. I heard EVERY word of his exchange with the ref. It’s nice to know that they share the same problems some players do with MLB umpires. He was giving a technical because he said the F word, period. He did NOT call the ref a name, he was bitching about a non-call and said “C’mon, what the F am I supposed to do” and got the T. Now I watch both Pierce, and I think Allen, talking to this ref and he shoots back to Paul this little tidbit. “I can’t let him talk to me that way.”

What? Dude, your an NBA official, not the stinking Pope. Not one person in the arena paid 1 cent of their ticket to see you, ref the game and shut your pie hole. These guys are playing for a world championship, they are as amped up as you expect the best players in the world to be, they are grown men, there’s going to be some PG-13 language, and you are giving a T to a guy for dropping an F bomb? Stupid.

2) Every SINGLE play up and down the floor has MULTIPLE fouls being committed by multiple players. These guys are in close, every play. They are beating the crap out of each other, and the refs see it. That makes me think that the game is called and paced exactly how the refs want it to be. I wondered aloud, a few times, how in the hell calls weren’t being made against the Celts on a ton of plays in the paint where there was some serious pugilism being committed. There were a ton of ‘non-calls’ in my incredibly amateur opinion.

3) Phil Jackson knew it. Early in the game, Farmar comes to the bench during Celts free throws and asks about the next series, Jackson says “One thing I do know is we’ve got to stop !@#$&@#%$#&*()@ fouling these guys” Farmar asks what he says and he repeats the line.

4) I don’t know much about the NBA beyond some of the star players and the famous teams. I heard that the Lakers got Gasol in a horrible steal of a deal and that the league should have investigated the trade for some sort of punishable crime I saw a 7 footer last night who grabbed like 4 rebounds and spent the entire game whining about getting fouled.

5) Kobe. This one stunned me a little bit. Who doesn’t know Kobe Bryant right? I only know what I have heard, starting awhile back with the entire Shaq debacle. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other on or about him other than to know that people feel he might be one of the 4-5 greatest players to ever lace it up. What I do know is what I got to see up close and hear, was unexpected. From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy bitch at his teammates. Every TO he came to the bench pissed, and a few of them he went to other guys and yelled about something they weren’t doing, or something they did wrong. No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever. He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team. Then when they made what almost was a historic run in the 4th, during a TO, he got down on the floor and basically said ‘Let’s f’ing go, right now, right here” or something to that affect. I am not making this observation in a good or bad way, I have no idea how the guys in the NBA play or do things like this, but I thought it was a fascinating bit of insight for me to watch someone in another sport who is in the position of a team leader and how he interacted with his team and teammates. Watching the other 11 guys, every time out it was high fives and “Hey nice work, let’s get after it” or something to that affect. He walked off the floor, obligatory skin contact on the high five, and sat on the bench stone faced or pissed off, the whole game. Just weird to see another sport and how it all works. I would assume that’s his style and how he plays and what works for him because when I saw the leader board for scoring in the post season his name sat up top at 31+ a game, can’t argue with that. But as a fan I was watching the whole thing, Kobe, his teammates and then the after effects of conversations. He’d yell at someone, make a point, or send a message, turn and walk away, and more than once the person on the other end would roll eyes or give a ‘whatever dude’ look.

Let me reiterate that this is from a complete basketball newbie, so for all I know this could be exactly how these guys play this game and interact with each other.

The contrast though, for me anyway, was watching KG and Allen, Pierce, as the game went on. I was literally ON the Laker bench so I could only watch the celts on the floor, and it was just different. it was all about who has whom, who goes where, what’s up next. That could have been a direct result of the officiating and flow of the game though, more than anything.

It was just amazing to watch a game where the Lakers came out, completely set the tempo in the first few minutes and TOTALLY dominated the final four minutes, and in between the Celtics completely dominated them.

Anyway, what a rush and a total enjoyment to be a part of. Celtic fans were damn impressive. Oh and one more thing. I think it’s fantastic that there seems to be this mutual support thing going on here in NE. You fans are being treated to your third World Championship appearance since last October and that’s awesome. But at each one there seems to be a crossover, Celts and Sox at the Super Bowl, Pats, Bruins and Celts at the World Series, and last night Sox and Pats all over the place. Cool stuff.

Heard the news this afternoon about the tragic death of a former teammate and friend Geremi Gonzalez.

The quote to head this piece is one that anybody that knew him will smile about. Gonzo could not, under any circumstance, remember ANYONE’S name. It didn’t matter who you were, to him you were “My friend”. It’s how he started every conversation. It didn’t matter if you said your name in the previous sentence, his opening words in any conversation were “My friend”. It got to the point where he’d make you laugh at every turn. We tried as hard as we could to stifle him, trying to figure out if he was kidding or if he really did not know. In the end it didn’t matter, he was a big teddy bear and a great great friend and teammate to anyone he played with.

He was a fantastic guy with a huge heart who absolutely loved the game of baseball. He’d take the ball any day, everyday. I can remember a few times during the season when he spot started or relieved after throwing a ton of pitches the day before. He was a gamer, who wanted to pitch. I remember when he first came up with the Cubs as a big prospect. He had the tools for sure.

He was always, and I mean always smiling. Never had a bad day, even when it seemed he did. I always pegged him as someone who loved life and got the most out of it each and every day.

I know the guys on the team all send our thoughts and prayers to his family and friends on such a tragic occasion.

Geremi rest in peace and know you will be missed My Friend.

About a year ago Dustin Pedroia, soon to be rookie of the year, saves Clay Bucholz’s no-hitter with an incredible play. Yesterday Jacoby does the same for Jon Lester. That group of 4 players is like the Mount Rushmore of why the Red Sox have put themselves in a position to win, a lot, over the next decade. All of that done with the “rock” behind the plate that is Jason Varitek.

It’s no coincidence that he’s now caught a record 4 no-hitters, trust me. I would BET, BIG MONEY, that I’d have been the 4th if I hadn’t shaken him off…..

Anyway. Congratulations to Jon, what an incredible story for so many reasons beyond baseball. From surviving cancer to spreading the word about strength, integrity, faith and courage, to winning the clinching game of the 2007 World Series, to this. Wow, good stuff.

The thing I smiled most about, and was most proud of, well things actually, was the fact he kept within himself, never let a pitch, or an at bat get away from him, and showed why he’s a potential top of the rotation, ace kind of guy. I know what it’s like in that 9th inning, right up to the 2 out part, and I know you are breathing heavier, but I also know it’s about control, internal and external, and not forgetting what it is you’re trying to do, which is make pitches. The Jon Lester of a year ago would have had trouble doing that, this guy now, won’t.

His stuff is quality, ace like, and damn good. Add that to a guy possessing character out the ying-yang and you might be able to now understand why the team wasn’t all that excited about trading him, or Jacoby, or any of these young kids away this winter.

It’s the thing that will always make baseball the greatest game on earth. On ANY given night you have many chances to see something you’ll never see again, or that’s never happened before, after over a 100 years of the game being played already.

The Lord does work in mysterious and wonderful ways.

Congratulations Lefty, thanks for the life long memory!

Schill

Is funny. Can’t help but laugh at it. They asked me to be a part of the shoot but it was done during spring training and I didn’t think flying up to Orlando for the day and back was the smart thing to do when not being able to play and going through rehab. Love Peter Gammons as Tito, rubbing his head.

After everything that’s happened and all that has been said and done I laughed. I have yet to see one they have done that wasn’t funny.

Much needed day off for the guys. This has to be one of the weirdest schedules I’ve ever been part of.

Watch out for the Rays. People made all kinds of fun of me last year when I mentioned that would be a place to consider, luckily for them I didn’t, but that’s a good young team. Joe Maddon is one of the men responsible for my career and I think the world of the guy, and I think they’ve got immense amounts of young talent. Troy having a bit of a revival has certainly helped too. Great to see him back in the game and doing fantastic, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. They’re going to be good for a long time, and in a tough division, and from what I understand they’ve just scraped the surface on the wealth of young pitching talent they’ve got coming up.

My rehab is going well. We’ve increased the workload and distance in my throwing program and so far so good.

38 Studios has made a few more hires recently and I just cannot grasp the talent level we have, team wide, in the company at this stage. Lots happening and still so much to do.

Doesn’t look like we’ll have the desired (by me anyway) coming out party at SD Comic Con this year, for about a billion reasons. The main one is that we just aren’t ready to do it and if we were to go through with it, we’d be intruding on development as well as pushing things that aren’t ready. We’ll still be there and we’ll certainly have something to show, but it won’t be the ‘lift our skirts’ to the world I said it might be last year.

Well that day is here, finally. Today I’ll be ‘allowed’ to play catch for the first time since January. A lot has happened and there is probably even more left to do, but it’s a step.

As we were talking through things the other day a point I was trying to make to anyone involved was this. Not only do I need to get moving and throwing now, but everyone just assumes that we do X, which leads to Y, and we end up at Z. The “Z” being me pitching again. The thing is, we’re good, real good. I not only need to get healthy, but I need to be good as well…..

Just because I am healthy doesn’t mean I get the ball. I feel very confident about how I’ll be throwing when I come back, but I still have to “DO IT”, and be good at it.

I think we are all very happy with where I have come and how much improvement I’ve made, but at the end of the day we really are at the bottom of the mountain at this point. Throwing, bullpens, long toss, rehab games, those will start the clock ticking on the health of my shoulder and where it is at. The last few weeks I’ve been pushed extremely hard and in my mind if there were significant injury issues the fallout would have been pain, enough pain to notice and hinder our work. That hasn’t happened and that is obviously a great sign.

Having said that it still comes down to how the arm bounces back once we start putting a heavier load on the shoulder. We won’t be able to get there for a few weeks of throwing at least.

If we can get through that part, long toss and into bullpens, and the feel remains the same, then I think I’ll start getting excited about what might be.

To all of you that have offered support here I want to extend a sincere thank you.

For all of those that donated and were in attendance for the unveiling of the Schilling Fields this past week at Blake Middle School, thank you as well. It was a very special time and a day of memories that will last a lifetime. Seeing Mike McQuaid, my little league coach and life long friend was icing on the cake. Thanks to my wife Shonda for making that all happen.

Great starting pitching wins games, except, when the other teams starting pitchers are matching your guys. The rotation is coming along and the guys are starting to ramp it up. Any time you can be on a staff that sees each starter pushing the other, especially with a talented mix, great things happen and young pitchers get better faster.

John Farrell has positioned these guys in a way that they are all getting better, and will continue to do so. His teaching style is perfect, regardless of the student, and with the mix we have you could not ask for a better situation.

Josh is rounding into form, and I expect him to start running out there every 5th day and throw ‘can’t miss’ games more often than not. Jon Lester is getting it. His command is coming and when it does he’s going to be a force. Clay is just so damn natural you have a chance to see a 1-hit shut out any night he takes the ball. Dice is Dice. He’s got a year under his belt and is doing things that to me show he has learned and is continuing to learn how to get better here. Wake, well what can you say about Wake. He takes the ball every 5th day and you have a chance to win. Teams pay a premium for ONE guy like that on your staff.

Don’t fret the bullpen, every teams pen goes through stretches and ours is no different. They’ll figure it out and given how close Tuck has those guys they’ll do it together and this staff will start to do some pretty special things.

As far as offense goes, I know what I’ve watched. we’ve run up against some fantastic arms. I’ve thought Jason Shields was VERY good from the time I first saw him. Playing in Tampa means the world’s going to catch on to him later than others might. Doc was Doc, a horse and a stud. John matched him on a night when a lot of guys couldn’t and that was a great game. The McGowan kid has as electric an arm as any young pitcher in the game and on his good nights you’re lucky to scrap across 1-2 runs. A.J. is and always has been a no-hitter waiting to happen. I hope for our sake he never figures out that fastball command thing to any degree because if he does he takes it to another level.

Anyway, this team is going to hit, and score runs, and when it does I would bet the staff will be righted from front to back. Staying healthy is the key.

Rehab is going well. I am nearing that first day of throwing, just waiting impatiently to get the go ahead.